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Friday, 20 February 2015

Lifestyle: Saying Goodbye To Toxic Relationships

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Sometimes in life it is necessary to rid yourself of toxic people, be it in a platonic, romantic or professional relationship, unfortunately family can prove a little tougher to deal with.

If a relationship is no longer bringing you joy then what are you truly benefiting from it? Holding onto toxic people only prolongs your own pain and at times you truly need to get out of your comfort zone and put yourself first.

I have cared (and some I remain to care for) for many people during my childhood and adolescence. Entering adulthood, I have come to realise that sometimes you just cannot make things work and if your friends are not supportive then are they really your friends?

Life can be difficult enough without having to worry about those who are meant to care for you dragging you down.
There are many different types of toxic relationship, someone can be mentally damaging towards you, emotionally and on the worst end of the scale physically. At the end of the day, abuse is still abuse no matter what form it takes and it is not acceptable.

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If you have someone in your life that undermines you, tries to compete with you, is unnecessarily jealous or envious of your successes, clouds you with their negativity (every day seems to bring with it a new tragedy), gossips incessantly about those around you (take this as a general rule, if they gossip to you, then they most likely gossip about you), are not supportive of your goals, act possessive or are incessantly needy of your  and everyone elses attention (all friends are there to offer mutual emotional support but relationships should not leave you feeling burdened or be one-sided), are inconsiderate, critical, prove to be a bad influence (we inevitably become influenced by our environment) or are at times are just downright manipulative, then get rid. Immediately.

Bonds can deteriorate, and once someone begins to grate at your patience and sanity they are not worth hanging on to. With friends you should never feel wary, you should be able to be open-minded without feeling conflicted or irritated. If you find yourself dreading to see a friend, making excuses to avoid doing so and feeling drained if you do eventually meet, then it all becomes pretty self-explanatory.

All relationships are complex and require a bit of give and take at times, but if your relationships are starting to drain you and stop bringing you emotional reward and joy, then it is a drastic warning sign to let that person go. Do so without speaking badly of them, as negativity never breeds happiness. Friends should make you happier and help you to escape or solve your problems, not cause them.

Healthy relationships are the only relationships you need, surround yourself with those who value you and you will soon start to feel a lot better in yourself. Your relationships should bring out the best in you and they reflect upon your own character. So remember, "you are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with so be brave enough to let go of those who are weighing you down."

Have you ever experienced a toxic relationship? How did you let that person go? 

Stephanie xox

2 comments:

  1. First of all Stephanie, GREAT blog. Yes I have experienced toxic relationships in the past. Sometimes letting go of them is difficult at the time, but essential for growth :) I am a much happier person for letting to of them.

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  2. This post was such a great read. Especially down to the fact that recently, I've been going back to a friendship that really needs to be ended because it makes me so miserable. It can be really hard because I tend to feel sorry for people and I've wound up being a verbal punching bag for so called friends at times (probably down to the fact that they've learnt that I will just keep taking their rubbish). I think the thing that has helped me distance myself the most from people, is using blogging as a way of making new friends and such. I've met a great bunch of people over the past few months and I certainly feel happier thanks to cutting people out. It's just a shame that some are harder to cut out of your life than others and with the internet there really is nowhere to hide haha!

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